Field Report from the Orange County Fair

We at Hours of Devours don’t really love the fair. Every year, we manage to go with our kids and show them a good time. But mostly, we dread it. We think it’s hot and creepy and expensive, and the food, while funny, is kind of horrifying.

Maybe we should be going with our friend Kathy, who submitted this report:

“Last night I ended up going to the OC Fair with my sister and our friend J.  We were meeting other people there, but this was the primary crew I needed to go with.  (They) are all about the food sampling, not about the rides. Here are the highlights and lowlights -

Fried White Castle Cheeseburger – Thumbs Up!  Really tasty, although a little sauce wouldn’t have hurt it.  I even brought one home in a plastic baggie for my husband to try and it held up really well to an hour or so in a backpack.

Fried Spam – A little too meaty for my taste, although J. stands by it.

Fried Apples – Confusing to the palate.  It looks like french fries, but it tastes like apple.  And the whipped cream for dipping was a little too airy. Also – it takes forever for them to make.

Fried Artichoke – So good!  Especially with ranch.

Fried Strawberry Poptart – Not bad, just not especially good.

We didn’t have the nerve to try the fried tootsie roll, since it looked like a practical joke caught in the act.  The BBQ Beef sandwich and arm-long sausage sandwiches were, as always, delicious. I can’t remember the other stuff we tried.  I think I greased some knowledge right out of my brain.

The Van Halen Cover Band – These guys were pretty good, but what made them genius was the lady on stage signing the lyrics to the deaf people (if there were any).  Because we all need to appreciate the words that go with Hot For Teacher.  To quote, ‘I don’t feel tardy.’

Peking Acrobats – As always, these guys and gals do amazing things.  We accidentally caught the show twice, which was a shame.  The second time even we could tell they seemed a little bored.

Hall of Fame Outfit – This one goes to the second-skin white spandex jeans worn by the lady who seemed to want to highlight every ass dimple and divet. The red g-string she chose to go beneath the jeans was similarly highlighted.  This is what happens when you don’t check your rearview.  Awesome. “

We caught up with Kathy to ask what exactly kept her from sampling the fried tootsie roll.

“It looked like doo-doo in a corn dog bun,” she said.

Ahh…makes sense now!

In years past, we’ve avoided a lot of fair goodies while laughing at them at the same time. Usually, we stick with the grilled cob of corn, some lemonade, a corn dog, a candy apple. (By the way, candy apples were never around when we grew up in St. Louis. Caramel apples, sure, but never the red candy-coated apples.) Of course, cotton candy and funnel cakes for the kids are always on our list.

But maybe, maybe, we’ve been missing out. Maybe one of these nights, we should find a babysitter, load up our wallets and find some friends to go have a culinary mind-blow-out.

Maybe…